משלי, פרק כ״ה, פסוק י׳

Engaging in an argument can easily tempt a person to reveal secrets or share negative information about their opponent. However, giving in to this urge carries severe, irreversible consequences that primarily harm the speaker. When people hear someone speaking poorly of a friend during a conflict, their judgment turns against the speaker. Instead of gaining sympathy, the speaker brings shame and disgrace upon themselves [רש"י, מצודת ציון, מלבי"ם]. Those who listen will quickly label the speaker as a gossip and an untrustworthy person who carelessly exposes secrets [רש"י, אבן עזרא, מצודת דוד, מלבי"ם]. Furthermore, the audience may completely dismiss the accusations, suspecting that the negative claims are entirely invented out of anger rather than truth [אלשיך].

The worst part of spreading this negativity is its absolute permanence. The primary approach among commentators is that once damaging words leave a person's mouth, they can never be taken back. Even if the speaker later feels regret and wishes to repair the relationship, the damage is already done. The betrayal creates a permanent scar, destroying any future possibility of peace and reconciliation [אבן עזרא, מצודת דוד, מלבי"ם, אלשיך]. The harm also lingers over the former friend, as the public might continue to believe the damaging rumors [אלשיך].

On the other hand, some explain that the permanent damage actually refers to the speaker's own ruined reputation. By dragging the conflict into the open, negative details about the speaker will inevitably come to light. As a result, the speaker is left completely helpless, facing a constant and lasting public disgrace that cannot be erased [ביאור שטיינזלץ, מלבי"ם].