משלי, פרק כ״ט, פסוק י״א

A profound gap exists between the wise and the foolish in how they manage their inner lives and outward reactions. While one rushes to explode and reveal every feeling, the other possesses the ability to control himself, restrain his impulses, and carefully weigh his steps.

The defining trait of the fool is a complete lack of restraint. When stirred by anger [מצודת ציון], negative desires [רלב״ג, מלבי״ם], or even just a passing thought [אבן עזרא, שטיינזלץ, עמנואל הרומי], he instantly brings these feelings into the open. He exposes everything inside him with noise and commotion, speaking carelessly without distinguishing between wisdom and nonsense, regardless of whether it fits the situation [רלב״ג, מצודת דוד, שטיינזלץ].

In sharp contrast, the wise person operates with deep self-control. The primary approach among commentators is that the wise person actively quiets, humbles, and suppresses his initial impulses, much like calming the crashing waves of the sea [רש״י, אבן עזרא, אלשיך, מצודת ציון, מלבי״ם, עמנואל הרומי]. On an internal level, when negative traits arise, he delays his reaction. He waits and holds back to evaluate if it is proper to act, successfully quieting the desire [רלב״ג]. Rather than allowing harmful urges to surface, he pushes them back into the deepest, most hidden parts of his soul [מלבי״ם, אבן עזרא].

This restraint extends to social interactions, especially during arguments or legal disputes. The wise person shows immense patience toward the fool. He waits until the fool has completely finished shouting and venting his anger. Only then, coming last, does the wise person respond with calm, measured words that dismantle the fool's arguments and quiet the emotional storm [רש״י, מצודת דוד, עמנואל הרומי]. In other instances, the wise person might simply turn his back and walk away to end the conflict [רלב״ג], or he might appease the fool by reminding him of their shared human origins [אלשיך].

Alongside the concept of quieting, another perspective views the wise person's restraint as leading to actual praise. By holding back his words and waiting, his eventual arguments become far more precise and praiseworthy [עמנואל הרומי]. Furthermore, by managing to stay silent and avoiding words he might later regret, he can ultimately praise himself for maintaining control over his spirit [אלשיך]. This careful handling of words is also seen when the wise person is asked to reveal a secret. He will politely praise the question itself, but he will turn the inquiry away empty-handed, ensuring the secret remains safely hidden [אמרי דעת].