דברים, פרק כ״ג, פסוק ט׳

The integration of converts from Edom and Egypt into the Israelite community requires a careful generational transition. Only the grandchildren of these converts are permitted to marry native-born Israelites and fully join the congregation of God [ביאור שטיינזלץ]. The primary approach among commentators is that the counting of these generations begins directly with the convert. The original individual who converts is considered the first generation and is forbidden from marrying into the community. His son becomes the second generation, who remains forbidden. It is only the grandson, representing the third generation, who is finally permitted to marry into the nation [תורה תמימה, מלבי״ם, ביאור יש״ר]. The requirement for a three-generation waiting period is rooted in human nature. The natural sense of close family connection generally extends only as far as a grandson. Once a new generation begins beyond that point, the strong ties to the family's past origins naturally fade [חזקוני].

A discussion arises regarding whether this restriction applies to female converts as well. One perspective maintains that the law is tied simply to the reality of birth, meaning the prohibition includes all offspring, both male and female [תורה תמימה]. Conversely, another viewpoint argues that the restriction applies exclusively to males. This is based on the historical actions of these nations. Women do not typically go out to war with swords, which was the sin of Edom. Furthermore, Egyptian women were not participants in the cruel decree to drown Israelite children in the river. This innocence is clearly shown by the actions of Pharaoh's daughter, who actively saved Moses and even sought out a Hebrew wet nurse for him [מלבי״ם, תורה תמימה]. Joining the congregation means becoming a fully integrated member of God's community [העמק דבר]. However, this process carries strict legal boundaries. Until the third generation is reached, any physical union is absolutely forbidden. Furthermore, if an Israelite marries an Egyptian from the forbidden early generations, or vice versa, the child's status always follows the restricted parent, and the family line retains this forbidden status until a full three generations have passed [תורה תמימה].

A profound moral lesson emerges when comparing the treatment of Edom and Egypt to that of Ammon and Moab. While Edomites and Egyptians are welcomed after a waiting period, Ammonites and Moabites are permanently barred from marrying into the community. The commentators agree that this distinction highlights a core spiritual truth: causing another person to sin is a far greater wrong than killing them. Edom attacked with weapons and Egypt drowned children in the sea, acts of murder that end a person's life in this world. Ammon and Moab, however, seduced the Israelites into committing terrible sins. By causing spiritual ruin, they destroyed the victims' portion in both this world and the Next World [רש״י, שפתי חכמים, חומש קה״ת].

This distinction also emphasizes the immense value placed on gratitude and family bonds. The Israelites are instructed not to despise Edom, because they share a family connection. Similarly, they must not despise Egyptians, because they were once guests in their land. Ammon and Moab, on the other hand, showed absolute ingratitude toward the descendants of Abraham, a man who had shown great kindness to their ancestor Lot. Because of this deep betrayal, they are permanently distanced [אלשיך, יריעות שלמה]. In stark contrast to all of these specific historical cases, converts from any other nation in the world are permitted to marry into the community immediately upon conversion, with no waiting period required [רש״י, חומש קה״ת].