דברים, פרק י״ד, פסוק א׳

The profound bond between God and the Israelites is framed as an intimate relationship between a father and his children. This foundation serves to shape how a person mentally and physically copes with the grief of death, leading to strict prohibitions against extreme mourning practices. The primary approach among commentators is that when a person loses a beloved family member, they must remember that their true, eternal Father—God—lives forever. As a result, a person is never left completely orphaned or abandoned [בכור שור, דעת זקנים, רא״ש]. Building on this, God loves His children even more than a human father loves his son. Therefore, everything He does is ultimately for the good, even when it surpasses human understanding. Much like a small child who cannot comprehend his father's actions but trusts him entirely, people are called to trust God during times of loss [אבן עזרא, רמב״ן, חזקוני]. Natural crying and sadness over losing a loved one are entirely acceptable; what is forbidden is only the exaggerated mourning that reflects absolute despair [רמב״ן, אברבנאל].

Another perspective emphasizes the eternal nature of the soul. While other nations might mourn with extreme intensity because they view death as the absolute end of existence, the Israelites understand that the soul is never lost. Instead, it transitions to the next world and is safeguarded in the King’s treasury. This concept is compared to a prince sent to a distant village for his education. When the King finally calls his son back to the palace, the villagers weep over the departure, but the wise understand that they should rejoice over his return to the source of life [אור החיים, כלי יקר, צרור המור, רבנו בחיי]. Conversely, some explain the connection between being God's children and the mourning prohibitions through the lens of physical dignity. As children of the King, the people serve as a royal legion. Consequently, they are expected to maintain a handsome and dignified appearance, making it inappropriate to disfigure or make their bodies ugly [רש״י, מזרחי, שד״ל].

The prohibition against self-mutilation operates on two levels. On a simple level, it forbids making deep, bloody cuts and scratches in the flesh, a common practice among pagan cultures to express grief or to serve idols [רשב״ם, רלב״ג, כתב והקבלה]. On a deeper level, early sages derive an additional instruction against forming divided factions within the nation, such as having two courts in the same city issuing conflicting rulings. The connection between the two ideas is profound: just as a physical scratch divides and wounds the human body, societal division fractures and wounds the national body of the people [גור אריה, העמק דבר]. Alongside this is the prohibition against tearing out hair or creating a bald spot as a sign of mourning. Although the instruction specifically mentions the area above the eyes, referring to the front hairline, commentators agree that the restriction applies equally to creating a bald spot anywhere on the head [רש״י, כתב והקבלה].

These restrictions against self-harm might seem redundant, as they were already given to the Priests. However, one might mistakenly assume that only the Priests are warned against defacing their bodies due to their elevated holiness and duties in the Temple. By grounding these laws in the reality that the entire nation are children of God, a new standard is established. The entire congregation is holy, meaning the exact same level of nobility and physical dignity required of the Priests is now expected of every single Israelite [רמב״ן, טור הארוך, ביאור יש״ר].