Recognizing King David's deep longing for his exiled son Absalom, Joab devises a brilliant psychological strategy to bring the son home. He decides to stage a human drama that will force the king to pass judgment, ultimately leading David to recognize his own harsh treatment of Absalom. To execute this delicate mission, Joab summons a wise woman from the city of Tekoa. The primary approach among commentators is that this location was chosen deliberately. Tekoa was famous for its abundant, high-quality olive oil, a staple traditionally associated with increasing wisdom, making its inhabitants known for their intellect [רש״י, רד״ק, מצודת דוד]. Furthermore, as a mountainous region near Jerusalem, its people were naturally regarded as clever, resourceful, and courageous [מלבי״ם, אברבנאל]. The specific woman selected was likely renowned in her hometown for her exceptional intellect and her mastery of parables [חומת אנך].
Even though Joab provided the exact narrative she was to present, he desperately needed someone of great intelligence. An ordinary person might easily become intimidated by the majesty of the king, risking confusion or the accidental addition or omission of crucial details that would ruin the careful plan [אלשיך]. Joab also understood that an audience with the king would be highly dynamic. The woman would have to think on her feet, gracefully handle unexpected questions, and frame her arguments in a logical, convincing manner [רלב״ג, ביאור שטיינזלץ, אברבנאל].
Joab instructs her to present herself as a widow. King David was widely known as a father to orphans and a judge for widows, so this specific persona was calculated to immediately awaken his compassion and guarantee that he would not turn her away [אברבנאל]. To ensure the deception was flawless, Joab gives her precise instructions to embody deep sorrow. First, he tells her to actively mourn by wailing and lamenting [מצודת דוד]. He urges her to begin this behavior immediately, allowing it to become second nature so that neither the king nor his guards would suspect a disguise [מלבי״ם]. Next, he instructs her to wear mourning garments and strictly forbids the use of anointing oils, cosmetics, or any physical adornments [מצודת ציון, ביאור שטיינזלץ, אברבנאל]. Her physical appearance had to perfectly match the tragedy of her story, ensuring her face and body reflected authentic despair [אלשיך].
Through these actions, she was to look like someone who had been grieving for a very long time. This deliberate physical neglect was intended to signal to the king that she had completely given up hope of ever remarrying or having more children, a detail that would maximize his pity [אברבנאל]. Interestingly, when giving these instructions, Joab carefully tells her to act like a woman mourning the dead rather than explicitly telling her to act like a widow. He chose this general phrasing to avoid tempting fate, ensuring his words would not accidentally curse her with actual widowhood [אברבנאל].