תהלים, פרק ל״ח, פסוק י״ב

Physical suffering is deeply compounded when accompanied by social isolation and abandonment. In moments of severe crisis, a person naturally looks for comfort and support from their inner circle, only to find themselves entirely alone while their loved ones watch from a distance.

This circle encompasses a person's entire social network, including friends, neighbors, business partners, and family members [רד״ק]. The primary approach among commentators is that these individuals, who appeared as devoted friends during times of wealth and pleasure, are now exposed as having merely pretended to care [רש״י]. When tragedy strikes, they stand far away. They observe the sick person's agony from a distance but avoid coming near, offering help, or even paying a simple visit that might lift the sufferer's spirits [רד״ק, מצודת דוד, ביאור שטיינזלץ].

There are several reasons for this heartbreaking withdrawal. The distance may stem from physical repulsion, as the sufferer's wounds have become foul-smelling and difficult to be around [אבן עזרא]. Alternatively, the withdrawal is driven by emotional strain. People often grow weary and pull back when witnessing a friend endure prolonged pain, or they keep their distance out of sheer helplessness, having no practical advice or ability to assist [רד״ק, מאירי].

Taking the scene even further, the situation can be understood as a person on the brink of death, lying in a deep faint or a death-like state. Loved ones pull away because they have completely given up hope for a recovery [מלבי״ם]. Family members stand at a distance, caught in tense uncertainty. They wait, unsure if the sufferer has already passed away and burial preparations must begin, or if this is merely a temporary loss of consciousness, especially since the wounds themselves had begun to heal and did not appear fatal [אלשיך].

While most commentators view the descriptions of those standing far away as repeating the same general theme of abandonment, a unique perspective offers a surprising contrast. It suggests that the very people who always kept their distance in life are the ones who now draw near. When a person is dying or presumed dead, normal social barriers dissolve, allowing everyone—both friends and enemies—to freely approach [מלבי״ם].