Preparing for a fateful encounter with his brother after twenty years of distance and hostility, Jacob carefully crafts a diplomatic message designed to appease Esau and calm his old anger. Through precise wording, he attempts to redefine their relationship and remove any fear from his brother's heart.
Jacob not only instructs his messengers to speak but dictates his exact phrasing. This ensures Esau knows these words of submission come directly from Jacob himself, rather than being just polite gestures from the messengers [אור החיים, רד״ק, אלשיך]. Even when speaking privately with his own men, Jacob refers to Esau as a master and himself as a servant. This trains his people, accustoming them to address his brother with deep respect and fear [אבן עזרא, העמק דבר, הטור הארוך, שד״ל]. However, this extreme submission faces criticism. Some note that Jacob was historically punished for addressing Esau as a master eight times during their meeting [דעת זקנים, חזקוני].
The core of Jacob's message focuses on his time living with their uncle Laban. The primary approach among commentators is that Jacob wants to prove their father's blessings never materialized, removing any reason for hatred. Isaac had blessed Jacob to be a master over his brothers, yet Jacob testifies that he never became a prince or an important figure; he remained a mere stranger in a foreign land [רש״י, כלי יקר, מלבי״ם, מזרחי, ביאור יש״ר]. Furthermore, he clarifies that he gathered his wealth through hard work as a hired laborer, not from their father's inheritance. Therefore, Esau has no need to fear for his own status or inheritance [רבנו בחיי, בכור שור].
Mentioning his time with Laban serves other purposes as well. It explains his long absence, serving as an apology that he was bound to others and unable to check on his brother earlier [תולדות יצחק, חזקוני, ספורנו]. He also attempts to evoke Esau's pity by sharing the hardships he endured under their uncle [רש ר הירש, בעלי ברית אברם]. At the same time, bringing up Laban carries a hidden threat: if Jacob managed to survive and deal with a dangerous fraud like Laban, Esau should be careful about fighting him [אור החיים, הדר זקנים].
Regarding his delay in returning home, Jacob explains that he held back until now because he did not want to return empty-handed before gathering enough wealth to present as a gift [בכור שור, העמק דבר]. Alternatively, others explain that Jacob emphasizes his delay was intentional. This proves to Esau that he was never in a rush to return home to rule over him or to bring the blessings to life [הטור הארוך, ביאור יש״ר].